The last supper

It's taken me 24 hours to find these events funny. It was me and the 2 kids for dinner last night.

It all started innocently enough, the baby was sleeping in his bouncy chair next to me and I served up pork tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto with roast potatoes and pears and broccoli. I made this for me and had a backup for my daughter. Such was the case, as she wouldn't touch a single thing even though broccoli and pears are 2 of her favorites. She shook her head "no" at least 100 times in rapid succession until her hair was sticking perfectly straight outward from her head. I changed tactics, "please have 1 bite of broccoli and I'll get you some mac and cheese". A resounding "no" and more head shaking. This went on for about 10 minutes while I ate my dinner and I really wondered if I was going to throw up the white flag first. All the baby (and dog, for that matter) self help books were ringing in my head "Show them who's boss" "Be firm, and don't ever give in" I also wondered at what age my daughter would be able to see defeat on my face.

I gave up and got the mac and cheese. A minutes worth of calm before about 2 ounces of apple juice go flying. There should be a study of how much surface area 2 oz of apple juice can cover - I'm quite sure this instance was close to the theoretical limit. It covered underneath 1 side of the table to the other and on 3 chairs.
Ok, cleaned up - mop later, reset....

Next serving of mac and cheese. In the interim a single crushed pea was wiped in a perfect semicircular arc on the table and the fork was thrown on the floor. While picking it up and telling my daughter not to throw the fork, she hit me between the eyes with the spoon. Another one of those dumbstruck moments...

Timeout...both children crying.
OK reset....

After the 50th time asking my daughter to use either a fork or spoon for the mac and cheese and peas, I sit at the table, nursing my son completely defeated. She did use both the fork and spoon simultaneously in an attempt to get as many peas in her mouth at once, succeeding solely in spreading them in an ever increasing circle on the floor. She also ran her cheesy fingers through her afro'd hair creating a series of spikes.

OK...mid dinner cleanup of hands and hair and re-attaching the bib.

Finally we're done with dinner and there's no use in trying to brush the SpongeBob mac and cheese off her fleece pants as the crushed shapes are no longer recognizable. Off with her pants, leaving her only in her diaper, as I forgot to mention that she refused to wear a shirt.