First name basis?

People tell you that your kid will be sick all the time and say that if it doesn't happen at daycare, it will happen when they head to school. Fair enough - I felt prepared.

Our kid's been at daycare for about 14 weeks - 6 unscheduled visits to the doctor - smatter in 3 scheduled visits and that's about 1 visit / 1.5 weeks. I was not prepared to be on a first name basis with the entire pediatrician's office.

The mummy purse

I've heard about it....the mum purse.

This week it happened to me, my trendy cloth reversible bag from Amsterdam became a mum purse. While rummaging for keys, I found a half eaten cookie from Pot Belly, a business card from the pediatrician, 5 coupons to Babies R Us, about 8 receipts ranging from dry cleaning, to prescriptions, to emergency trips to the grocery store for wipes and 3 different lists of things to do.

The strap broke from the strain.

Catch up

It's been WAY too long since updating the blog. In short, my baby is now 7 and a half months old with 2 teeth, an agile crawl, she knows her name, and is pulling up on everything.
This could well be exactly why it's been so long since updating.

Working mum tip #1

Buy all your kids clothes from the same manufacturer....that way when you're dressing your child at 5:30am after 6 hours of sleep, at least you know they'll match.

The ups and downs of daycare

The ups...
I walked in to see a little boy sharing a teething toy with Gwenan. He cried when I picked her up to take her home.

The downs...
It takes exactly 2.5 weeks for you and your baby to get the first daycare fever.

8 seconds

The amount of time it takes for you to turn around, understand and respond to your husband who is holding your daughter with poo dripping on him, the chair, and the floor in the doctor's office while he mouths the word "help".

The luck of the draw

My husband pulled the short straw.
Our darling daughter had a BM that required the immediate use of the washing machine.

The younger the better

I think it's much better to be a parent when you're young - mid 20's or so. I happen to be 33 which means that I've pretty much been cursing like a sailor without any real consequence for 15 years. It's really hard to stop.

Breast milk or bust?

Some coworkers and I decided it's time to stop breastfeeding when...

1. Your child can ask for a snack
2. Your child is dexterous enough to unbutton your shirt and start feeding themselves
3. You just want to keep your buxom new figure

I'm sure there will be more to add to this list.

3rd pediatrician's visit

15lbs 2oz
26 1/2 inches
All is well :)

Things to watch:
"log rolling" = your baby rolling all over the place (she's got this one down already)
more determined grabbing

What is formula?

As babies can't have cows milk until their at least a year old....what the hell is formula?

The subtlety of TSA

I am a real working mum now after having completed my first business trip. Sure it was just a day trip to NC - but with a hungry child at home, there was significantly more planning involved. There was time to pump in the morning at a cafe and time in the nursery at RDU airport before heading back. Nursing is not glamorous - but luckily I wasn't in a bathroom stall.

My favorite moment would have to be at the security checkpoint in RDU where I had 4oz of breastmilk. I had read that the TSA would not make you test your milk but your responsibility as a traveling mum is to let the guard know that you are carrying breast milk. So take off your shoes, unpack your laptop, remove your plastic baggie with chapstick and hand lotion, and proudly state "I have breastmilk".

Apparently, no one travels with breastmilk through RDU. The guard took one peek at the small cooler holding the breastmilk and jumped back as if someone had flashed a camera about 2 feet from his eyes and announced to the screener that "This bag has liquids...It has breastmilk." Upon reflection, he turned and said "Did I say that too loudly?"

It's a good thing I don't scare easily and enjoy making a scene.

Walkin' in a spiderweb

I was warned that my hair would fall out sometime around the 3 month mark. I was also warned that it would keep falling out for months. However, what I was NOT prepared for was my hair sticking to my clothes, my arms, and my face leading me to feel much like I am constantly walking through invisible spiderwebs. One day I will scream.

You've only got one shot at this

It doesn't seem fair to anyone that your earliest memories are all traumatizing.

Why don't you remember your birthday parties but vividly recall falling off your bike and getting gravel lodged in your knee? It's a little overwhelming to think your rookie parenting mistakes will be forever immortalized, not your triumphs.

August milestones

Aug 4th - She rolled over back to front and back again!!!
Aug 4th - We figured out she's started teething

Aug 8th - Blackberry, peach picking AND her first hay ride
Aug 10th - First time with a babysitter who wasn't a grandma

Aug 11th - First day at daycare
Aug 11th - First business trip for mum - only away for 11 hours :)

Aug 17th - First trip to the pool
Aug 19th - First taste of rice cereal

The binary of baby

Is my baby eating? 0/1
Has my baby peed today? 0/1
Has my baby had a bowel movement (a BM!!)? 0/1
Is she crying more than normal? 0/1

As a parent, you're looking for 1110. These 4 bits of data is all your pediatrician cares about too.

My husband read an article saying that parents overstress about their babies' poo...well if you look at it this way, it's one of the 4 core communications that your baby is normal. So when your baby hasn't had a BM in 5 days, that tends to become the focus of all your attention whether you like it or not.

The future is now

As soon as your baby becomes more aware of their surroundings (~2months old), you start guessing what they are going to be when they grow up.

Speak easy

A friend of mine told me that it's easier for babies to say d's, p's, and b's....so it's pretty likely that Dada will be her first word. After the initial disappointment, I realized that it will be "Dada" who our baby screams for in the middle of the night.

July Milestones

July 20th - Baby's first concert - The Charlie Daniels Band
July 21st - She rolled over front to back :)
July 26th - First trip to Smith Mountain lake....tried swimming and went on a speed boat!!!

The funniest thing that happened today

My husband said "Oh my God, she almost grabbed my nipple hair"

Don't try this without supervision

Kneel next to your coffee table
Bend over so your head is about 6 inches above the surface
Take a clump of hair and attach a vice grip or other clamp about 1 inch away from your scalp
Attach a 15 pound weight to the other side of the vice grip
Now try to remove the weight by calmly asking the vice grip to let go

This is the best way to describe what happens when you gently lean down to give your baby a kiss and she's feeling playful. After about the third time, you start looking up hairnets on amazon.

Sweet slumber

I've heard other mothers say that the first time their baby slept through the night, they woke up anyway to check that the baby was still breathing. I, however, slept blissfully through the night.

Little people

At 3 months your baby starts looking more and more like a little person. Then they stick their whole hand in their mouth which I'm pretty sure I can't do....and feel pretty silly even trying.

Food source

It only takes about a month and a half for you to see your boobs as breakfast, lunch, and dinner for your baby. Consequently, you become much more open about nursing in company.

I bet that transition time is longer for my father-in-law.

Do not go in the kiddie pool

Is it a secret only mum's know? A friend told us that swimmimg diapers are NOT leak proof and in fact that was the point. A diaper doesn't need to soak up all that pool water, so the pee just passes through. She learned this the hard way but getting her daughter ready for the pool at home.

A day later my husband says, "If newborn poo is mostly liquid, what happens to that in the pool?" Two things, why did it take us a day to think of that and will I ever take my daughter to the kiddie pool?

June milestones

June 14th - First hike in the mountains
June 16 - 20th - First trip to the beach
June 21st - First trip to UNC and Bandidos!!
June 27th - Back to work

Wendy's junior cheeseburger deluxe

While scraping an excessive amount of mustard off a Wendy's junior cheeseburger deluxe, my husband commented "It's really disturbing how similar mustard is to poo". He then handed me the burger....Bon Appetite

Picture perfect

Trying to take a photograph of your newborn smiling is similar to...
- successfully taking a photograph of lightning
- capturing the lone snow leopard in a safari park in Trenton NJ
- taking a photograph of the countryside from a bullet train in Japan

...all require $1000's of dollars of equipment or at least 5 people

True happiness

An old wives tale says that newborns only smile because they have gas. As they get older, they start to smile at you and there's truly nothing sweeter, nothing better to melt away the tiredness, frustration, and aching back.

(just forget that they still smile when they have gas)

Nursing etiquette?

If you're staying with your best friend who's also a mum, can you whip out your boob in front of the man of the house?
We decided, "No".

Time passes by...

As a nursing mother, you no longer operate on a standard 24 hour day or a traditional calendar. I don't know the day, date, or time, but I do know exactly how many minutes it is to the next feed in the 3 hour cycle. Chores and errands are now organized into 2 hour blocks which must include travel time.

The time it takes for some chores can also be described by the number of times I can press the restart button on the music in the bouncy chair before my daughter is screaming. Making breakfast, eating, unloading and loading the dishwasher must take less than the 2 renditions of "Old McDonald had a farm"

Add multitasking and project management to the list of "Essential New Mum Skills"

Road trip #2

Longer trip this time, June 6th - June 23rd, and I'm expecting many more lessons to be learned.

Lesson #1. Another weight loss technique. Eating crap while nursing is bad for both you and your baby. You will not lose that last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight and your baby gets gas which, as previously mentioned, makes them extremely mad. No more NC BBQ.

Lesson #2. When asking for advice on raising little girls, a friend said always wipe front to back. My husband replied "How can that possibly matter when poo is equally distributed in the entire diaper?"

Lesson #3. Your birthday no longer has anything to do with you.

Lesson #4. Your baby will find K&W cafeteria fascinating.

Lesson #5. More advice from a friend. "Traveling with a newborn is easy - get out while you can. It won't get harder until they hit 12 weeks or so." What can that possibly mean???

A word to the wise...

Eat whatever you want during pregnancy.

When nursing, the foods you eat can pass into your breastmilk to give your baby indigestion and gas (which makes them VERY mad). Amazingly enough my 2 baby books don't really mention this predicament, so time to talk to the trusted "nurse on call" at the pediatrician's office.

Foods to avoid (one might suggest foods you can eat)
All ethnic foods and anything spicy - Mexican, Indian, Asian
Dairy products
Tomatoes and tomato based sauces (in fact sauces in general which rules out most pasta)
Pizza
Oranges and all citrus
Green leafy vegetables (spinach, cabbage, turnip greens, etc)
Onions, peppers, squash
Melon, watermelon, and berries
Caffeine

Just try to have breakfast without dairy, citrus, berries, and caffeine

And so it begins....

June 10th - The baby grabs a plastic bag that holds cotton balls and drags it to her face in one swift fluid motion.

This isn't too surprising as her favorite toy makes exactly the same noise as a plastic bag.

Road trip #1

Took our first road trip May 30-June 2nd - 4.5 hours travel time and we packed everything. Kids seem to love the car as our newborn slept almost the whole way, but we did learn some valuable lessons.

Lesson #1
A 1' x 2' travel changing pad is in no way sufficient. You will need an extra large towel under the changing mat to catch all projectile fluids.

Lesson #2
A diaper explosion that escapes onto your light khaki shorts requires the following steps to not be noticeable. Follow steps 5, 6 for complete removal.
1-immediate soaking
2-warm wash in Tide
3-overnight soak in OxyClean
4-repeat step 2
5-repeat step 2
6-repeat step 2 again

Pilgrimmage to the Pediatrician

When a young doctor decides to become a pediatrician, most likely they don't have kids. Do you think they know that a huge chunk of their job will be to reassure tens of thousands of first time mothers over the course of their career? Even the most confident of women will seek validation from their pediatrician. This makes each office visit a sort of pilgrimmage or a type of cleansing to give you the strength to go through the next 2 months.

However, I would say it is essential to pick a pediatrician with a "help nurse" on call so you can ask those 3,000 questions you'll have in between.

My morning constitution

I take my daughter and my 100lbs lab out for a walk every day and I truly enjoy it. There's a definite art to walking the dog, pushing the stroller, and holding a poop bag.

Tyler, the dog, is pretty well behaved and possibly extremely smart. I say this because most of my commands require that I say his name so that he knows I'm talking to him. For example "Tyler, No!" or "Tyler, Drop it" or "Tyler, Come on".

It only occurred to me today, that my daughters first word might be Tyler.

We've sprung a leak

You are the last person to know when the diaper has exploded.
However, you can tell a lot by the expression of those around you.

2nd pediatrician visit

Our second pediatrician visit on 5/28
12lbs 4oz, 23inches
All is well

Losing that baby weight

I know that breastfeeding leads you to lose weight more quickly, but what about...
-carrying an extra 10lbs around for the entire day
-doing 300 squats while trying to pick things up off the floor and holding your baby
-holding a 20lbs car seat 6 inches away from your hip or lifting it in and out of the center of the backseat of your car
...those things have to help too

Full of it

We had a great tip from the pediatrician for diaper rash - clean the area with a wet cotton ball, let the area dry, apply some neosporin followed by a diaper cream like A&D. This works fantastically.

However, when faced with a diaper load, armed only with a cotton ball - you feel well out of your league.

Reconnaissance

The problem:
How to prevent unsightly scratches from both you and your babies face

The "experts" solution:
Simply, clip the fingernails to a respectable safe length as needed.

Past results:
In 2 months, I have successfully clipped 3 fingernails.

The facts:
A 2 month old child can grab a single strand of hair so tightly that you cannot release it from their grasp.
A newborn fingernails are approximately the size of a pin head.
Newborn fingernail clippers are regular clippers with a magnifying glass.

Logistical considerations:
How to pry the fingers open?
How to keep them still long enough to clip the nails?
What to do in case of casualties?

The "actual" solution:
I have no idea

Forget cloth vs disposable....

...what about disposable vs disposable.

When's the last time you actually looked at a diaper aisle? Outside of the decision of brand name vs generic or which brand name or cost...you have several other decisions to make.

For example, when your baby is 16 lbs you have the following choices from Pampers
Swaddlers size 2 (12-18lbs)
Swaddlers size 2-3 (14-22lbs)
Baby Dry size 2 (12-18lbs)
Baby Dry size 3 (16-28lbs)
Cruisers size 3 (16-28lbs)

As my baby is only 12lbs 4oz, I have some time to research these choices on the internet.

Digestive dilemma

I burp every time I try to burp my baby....sometimes more.

The progression of the swaddle

Swaddling is great; it comforts your baby, keeps them warm. However, there is a definite evolution of the swaddling process between you and your baby.

Stage 1
If you're like me then you were a bit apprehensive of the swaddle at the start, thinking "can they really like to be confined?" or "what if the swaddle is too tight and they suffocate?"

Stage 2
As time passes, you get better at the swaddle and become a true fan. Your baby also improves as time passes - in "swaddle escapism".

Stage 3
So you step it up a bit - get a little neater, tighter with the wraps; maybe even go for the double swaddle and perfect your technique and speed. The trick, undoubtedly, is to get the arms nicely wrapped up and to have all ends of the blanket under the baby. However, even a perfect swaddle is no match for your newborn - and in a hour or two the blankets will have been kicked down to their feet.

Lets not gloss over the fact that 2 month old babies cannot roll over - so how they ever get the blanket out from under themselves in the first place is impressive.

Stage 4
This is now a competition between how long it takes you to swaddle and how long it takes them to get out of it. Generally your husband steps in - with his superior techniques and finishes with a look of pride at his handiwork. 10 minutes later when your uncovered baby is crying with cold - a newly determined husband tries again, generally with the same result.

Could this be the beginning of your child besting you in everything you do?

Stage 5
Consulting the baby books - maybe my child is too big, too old for the swaddle? "They" suggest that as soon as your baby can kick out of the blanket that you should stop swaddling. According to our child, that was Stage 2...5 weeks ago.

Baby Weapons

Why do babies have fingernails at birth? They don't have teeth. It seems to me that fingernails should grow in when babies need them or know how to use them properly.

Fingernails on newborns are weapons - expect to be scratched. Like most good self defense techniques, babies know to go straight for the eyes - your eyes and more often their own eyes.

Prepare for some battle wounds

Babies in the buff

I can't believe my 7 week old is wearing 6 month sized onesies. While she does not suffer from gigantism, it does make you think that a females trauma with clothes shopping starts at birth. The only problem with babies is that when you finally find something you like...that fits...it only lasts one month.

Sleepy time

4 minutes = the shortest amount of time I've spent in my bed in one night.

Well, it smells clean

Baby detergent does not get poo stains out of clothing.
Well, baby detergent does not get day old poo stains out of clothing.

So are you supposed to wash it in "real" detergent and then wash it again in baby detergent so it doesn't irritate their skin...OR...do you just do 3 loads of laundry a day?

Challenges on the changing table

When your baby spits up on a changing table - it's only to distract you from what's happening on the other end.

There is NOWHERE on a changing table where you can put a dirty diaper without your babies foot getting in it within 5 seconds

You know you're a mother when...

...the song that gets stuck in your head is "The wheels on the bus" or "Do you know the muffin man?"

...you're cooking at the stove one handed and bouncing your hip when the baby is actually sitting in the bouncy chair across the room.

...you always have diaper cream stuck under your fingernails.

Comfort level?

I guess having a dog and a kid gets you way too comfortable with handling poo.

Crying babies

Is there another species where the young cry for food, exhaustion, or security?

Baby birds maybe, but then the adult birds just sit on them to solve that problem.

Studies say...

How to talk to your baby
-Provide a running commentary of what you're doing during the day
-Ask your baby questions like "what do you want to wear today?"... pause ... and then answer the question for them.

Don't other studies suggest that talking to yourself incessantly is crazy?

Too much choice???

I have SIX different brands of diaper cream....Unbelievably I have a favorite.

1/2 Mum....1/2 Dad

My daughter's got her Dad's thigh's......which is a small price to pay if it ensures she won't have her Mum's knees

Mum's need more than 2 hands...

...when nursing a newborn. You need 1 hand for holding them to your boob, 1 hand to hold their head in the right position, 1 hand to prevent their hands from getting in their mouths or scratching their eyes out, and 1 hand for you to grab the burp cloth, the remote, a glass of water, an itch, or anything else that's 6 inches out of reach.

...when holding your crying newborn and trying to eat anything that wasn't pre-prepared in bite-sized morsels.

Milestones

April 3rd 8:30pm; Water breaks
April 3rd 11:18pm; our baby is born, 6lbs 15oz
April 7th - First Pediatrician's appt
April 16th - Second Pediatrician's appt., our daughter pees all over the scale.
April 23rd - First trip out to the world, the library
April 29th - Wearing pre-maternity clothes (well, some of them)
April 30th - Gone up in diaper size

Motherhood redefined

Patience is changing a diaper 3 times in 15 minutes
Hope is 3.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep when it's 3am
Experience can be measured in the number of wipes used at a diaper change

Perspectives of a 1 month old Mum

Thoughts on nursing
- After a 3am feeding, you can sleep in any position. In general you find your neck and back in positions that make you long for the comfort and support of a middle seat in coach class on a trans-pacific flight
- Nursing your baby for 15 minutes on each boob actually takes an hour and a half


Thoughts on diapering
- "Diaper cream" should be called "All over the lower body cream"
- An explosive bowel movement means poop that soils at least 3 layers or travels at least 3 feet from the source
- Putting a diaper on a doll is helpful for the mechanics. Putting a cat on its back and adding a diaper is much more realistic


Thoughts on bathing
- Giving a newborn a bath is NOT a 1 person job
- Is your newborn really cleaner after a bath when they pee or poop just as soon as they touch the water?


Other thoughts...
- Newborn movements are very jerky and endearing, until they emphatically give you the finger
- Books about caring for your baby are reassuring only 10% of the time, the other 90% teaches you about problems you never conceived of and all the missed opportunities for stimulating your child's mental and physical development
- People say sleep when the baby sleeps...but you never realize that you have to choose between sleep and eating or sleep and showering
- I feel guilty when I don't floss...Parenting will be hard